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Sadie
Sadie serves as a religious figure for the Holy Father Church and a role model for young girls. She is the mother of Baruch Rogers and the personal mistress of Masked Bastard. According to the Book of Bastard, Sadie is said to be the Mother of the Internet Saviour. Although Sadie is also destined to murder the man who fathers a child with her, she never stops loving her Arch Bishop or her son, who are the center of her entire world. She is as sexy as she is strong and classy as she is kinky. Before giving birth to her first and only child, Sadie had always considered herself a technical virgin and strongly believed in the poophole loophole. __TOC__ Early Life Sadie's father Sam refused to accept Sadie as his own and made a remark that the child was a "goddamn octoroon". As a young child with blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin, many thought that Sadie was an albino. But as Sadie grew, questions of her true ethnic background faded away along with Sam's desire to treat her as one of his own. Ever since she was little, Sarah always wanted to be in the spotlight. On her 16th birthday she got her first video camera, a palmcorder that she often used to make video blogs online. Sarah’s two best friends are her sisters, Myranda and Courtney. Sarah’s first crush was a young black man named James Washington. Sarah had always loved black men and didn’t like the fact that her father didn’t approve of her dating outside of her race. On many occasions, James had the opportunity to have sex with Sarah, but turned her down because they were both minors and Sarah’s father was known for his temper. Sarah never did have her night of passion with James, but they remain good friends. Sarah went to her senior prom with James Washington. Sarah wanted to lose her virginity with James and wanted to be taken to a hotel to do so. Instead, James brought Sarah home late only to be confronted by Sarah’s father Sam. Sam fired his hunting rifle in the air, scaring James off. After this, Sarah got into a heated argument with her father that ended with Sam beating Sarah with an extension cord leaving whelms on her back and legs. Sam was arrested and Sarah was removed from his home by Child Services for 30 days while Sam completed Anger Management classes. ''Bishops of Bastard Beginnings'' Sarah’s mother Bonnie told Sarah that Sarah would one day have a child that would change the world. Sarah agreed to go to bible school to find her faith, but before Sarah could embark on the journey, she met a strange old woman named Magda. Sarah was amazed at how much she and Magda had in common and agreed to visit the Church of Fatherless Time with her. After seeing her domain as free room and board, Sarah agreed to be faptized by Mystique B and legally changed her name to Lady Sadie. Sadie was introduced to the Arch Bishop and they instantly bonded. Sadie told her mother about her new Mystian faith and Bonnie seemed please, but her father Samuel disowned her. Sadie was sad because her father cut her off, but Masked Bastard stepped in and filled the void. He became a father-figure to young Sadie and Magda was more like a mother. Whenever Sadie was tempted to go to wild parties, Magda stepped in and reminded Sadie of what happened to her when she let her guard down. The story of Magda’s rape scared Sadie into staying on the straight and narrow path. While attending St. Vashti University, Sadie befriends a cosplayer named Becky (who later becomes a member of Sadie’s youth group). Sadie worked as a peer leader for troubled teens. When Sadie went to take her road test for her driver’s license, she used the Lulzwagen. With financial help from Chris the Pimp, Masked Bastard bought Sadie a car, paid her car insurance and covered her expenses when Sadie went away to Bible College. Right before her graduation, Sadie's car was stolen by Eat My Fornicate; he wanted to remove the driver seat of her sport coupe so that he could “bottle the scent of Sadie’s divine posterior”. The Arch Bishop tracked down Ethan, destroying the vehicle in the process. Sadie wasn’t sad about losing the car, because she was used to the Church handling her expenses. When Sadie finally graduated Bible College, her parents didn’t show up to see her get her degree. But her Church family was there, cheering her on. The Raunch and the Righteous Once discovering her purpose in the Internet Saviour prophecy, Sadie becomes a spoiled, pampered, sheltered brat who demands daily worship. Even though certain members of the Church do things to piss her off, Sadie loves all the attention that it brings to her. Sadie's life seems to be peachy, until she finds herself in the middle of a sex scandal with Masked Bastard, an attempted character assassination plot hatched by Pastor Albert Okie. After the scandal ends, Sadie and Masked Bastard agree to be more careful and to keep their affair "clandestine". She also started a youth group called “Team Sadie”, which she led for a short time under the watchful eyes of Lady Magda and the Lumi-visian Sage of Understanding Muta-Ramah. ''Bishops of Bastard NSFW'' For more than five years, Sadie engaged in private sexual acts with the Arch Bishop. These encounters went on right under the other Bishops’ noses, but they never suspected that young Sadie was actually wrapped up in a true scandal with their most important Church figure head. Some Bishops believed that these were Sadie’s initial attempts to control the Arch Bishop, and thus control the Church. The encounters between Masked Bastard and Sadie only involved anal intercourse, never any vaginal penetration. But, that all changed the night of the Arch Bishop’s Victory Over Def Celebration. Although Sadie claims she had a few drinks, she was never intoxicated, only tired. She retired to her domain where Masked Bastard was waiting for her. She was coaxed into a passive state when he shined his Lumi-Visian light-face on her. After being brought under total submission, she had sex with him for five hours before he impregnated her. He also visage-flashed Sadie to wipe out any memories of their encounter, but months later the effects began to wear off and she started to remember what happened. After a speedy unearthly labor, Sadie gave birth to a baby boy she named Baruch. For six months the father of the child was a mystery, until a metal mask grew in on Baruch’s face, making it clear who the dad was. ''Bishops of Bastard Addendum'' As a mother, Sadie is more mature and better experienced as a Lady Bishop. Her son Baruch is the center of her world, a world she shares with her partner Masked Bastard. She is very protective of her child, but prefers to have him in public school during the day so that she can have time to herself. She often disagrees with the Arch Bishop regarding Baruch’s education needs after he is diagnosed with Autism. After a bullying incident that ended with Baruch destroying the local pre-school, Sadie finally agreed with the Arch Bishop to send Baruch to a Montessori school. An Uncertain Future According to the Book of Bastard, the Mother of the Internet Saviour is fated to murder the father of her child. Sadie believes that this oracle is false and will never come true, but in the back of her mind she knows that the Arch Bishop may one day be gone... Did You Know...? Sadie can: *eat enough food for six people *take it in the backdoor shaft deep *urinate for up to 1 minute *pass a stool the girth of a cucumber Rumor Has It... Sadie has been in love with the Arch Bishop since she met him. According to her fellow Lady Bishops, Sadie has professed to them on many occasions that she loves black men and that she wanted to lose her virginity with Masked Bastard. On the night of her college graduation, Sadie wanted to give herself to the Arch Bishop as a gift. But her menstrual cycle began while she showered in preparation for intercourse. Instead, Sadie insisted that the Arch Bishop "fuck her in the ass", which he continued to do for the next five years. Once at a public event sponsored by the Church, Congregation members and Cankerton citizens heard Sadie openly state that she wanted the Masked Bastard so badly to "fold her in half" and "murder her vagina". Lady Sadie Gallery Sarah-16.jpg|Sarah Ann Rogers, age 16 Sarah-arch-bishop1.jpg|Sadie just after her coronation. Sadie-fb4.jpg|Our Holy Queen Mother Lady Sadie Sadie-grad-11.jpg|St. Vashti University graduate, Bachelors in Theology (B.Th) Sadie-snap.jpg|Lady Sadie sadie-fb5.jpg|Praying for more followers on Twitter. Altar_sadie.jpg|Sadie at the Altar of Bastard sadie-worried.jpg|Moments after her water broke. Sadie-and-child.jpg|Sadie with her son, Baruch. Stained-glass-sadie.jpg|Stained Glass Depiction of Sadie Category:Bishops of Bastard characters